Women who Rock: Part 3

We left off with the beautiful Janis Joplin and Tina Turner, who ruled the era of the Summer of Love as Queens of rock n’ roll.  From here, Rock in general exploded into about 10,000 genres, subgenres, and crossover genres:  Funk, Soul, Pop, Punk, Metal, Alt, Grunge, Classic, Soft, Hard, Prog, and I could literally go on forever. Consequently, I debated for a long time where to go from here.  The Funk mavens of the 70’s? The acoustic ladies who hung with Cat Stevens and the like?  80’s/90’s feminist folk?  Pop divas?  Punk princesses?  The options are endless!**

Consequently, I’m just gonna try to draw attention to some female musicians that I am particularly inspired by.  Who better to start with than two women who were born at the exact time that Janis Joplin and Tina Turner were tearing it up?

PJ Harvey (b. 1969)

That link is to the video that made me fall in LOVE with this chick by her sheer badass-ery.  (Sexy white suit + Bejeweled High Heels = Hell Yeah.)  After then tumbling down the rabbit hole that is her collective musical output so far, I discovered that PJ Harvey was Gaga before Gaga was Gaga, in that she does whatever the hell she wants without apology, and her stuff is wacky.  …Except for the fact that her music/style is completely different. There is no couple of songs that encompass PJ’s sound because she has varied so much over the course of her 20 year career, but shes' generally pretty punk.  (Here's another song, if you just can't get enough.)

Neko Case (b. 1970) 

Quite a bit better known than PJ and significantly more folk/country influenced, Neko’s powerful and unique voice totally captivated me a few years ago and I still haven't stopped being hypnotised by it.  For a hilarious autobiography of this lady, check out this link. 

The thing that inspires me about these two artists, and which links them in my mind, is that they both have a really unconventional feminist viewpoint without being militant or even really promoting Feminism as a cause. (Which often puts people off.) These women have game-changing ideas simply by being awesome artists who aren’t afraid to share a unique and intelligent point of view through music. 

(See also: “Lady Pilot” and “People Got A Lotta Nerve” by Neko Case;

“Dress” and “ Working for the man” by PJ Harvey)

**The historical stuff I have talked about heretofore was based on Dr. Ken Kleszynski's History of Rock n' Roll class at University of Portland.  AWESOME class, AWESOME professor.

A special day at the Office

Something happened at work on Monday that I had not previously experienced in my role as Office Monkey.  For every one of the 8 hours in my workday, I gained true satisfaction and enjoyment from the work itself.  Don't get me wrong, there are many things I enjoy about my job—listening to music and audiobooks, hanging out with my coworkers, running into adorable pooches around the office, getting free food—but most of the time those things have nothing to do with the tasks for which I get paid (mostly fairly-complex data entry). 

But there was something different about my work on Monday.  A lot of my job involves sifting through and gleaning bits of information from massive computer-generated databases, and entering that data into various other forms and databases.  A lot of the time, my mind gets a little boggled by the fact that no one has written a computer program to do my job yet.  At that point my mind wanders away from my job and into fantastical daydreams.  However, the part of the job that is interesting is when errors and inconsistencies come through in the data that only a human brain can catch and deal with. 

On Monday, my team was absolutely flooded with work.  I’m told that the end of the year usually brings a flurry of activity as hospitals all across the country scramble to get their books in order and do housekeeping to clean up for the new year.  We had dozens upon dozens of envelopes to sort containing forms and letters from dozens of states about dozens of cases.  As I simultaneously tried to help distribute documents, close out old cases, and feverishly log incidents with OSHA, I miraculously encountered countless instances of computer glitches that needed intellectual engagement to unravel, keeping my brain hopping with activity and solving problems.  I actually got more done on this busy day than I do on a day with a more manageable workload. 

Last night I was chatting with my friend Katie about work, since she has a similar kind of job at a different company, and the things that she enjoys about her job are essentially the same.  And it occurred to me that, within Corporate America, the times of most authentic work and true enjoyment are the times that demand a special glimmer of Humanity in an otherwise mechanized world.  In “The Adding Machine,” Mr. Zero’s most special moments are the moments of love he shares with the lovely Daisy, turning him from machine into man.  The thing that is so charming about “The Office” is not a bunch of Scranton-ites working in efficient silence, but the group of glittering personalities that sparks stories of real human humor and drama while bound together by common work.  What made Monday a special day was getting to really engage my unique brain in solving problems that a machine would balk at. 

It makes me think that perhaps the key to transforming the American economy and workforce is allowing humanity back into our careers and abandoning the idea that a corporation is fundamentally the same as a human being.  Corporations today demand anonymity and deny personal responsibility, rather than valuing personality and personal accountability.**  However, people give their best work when they labor from their true self—genuinely giving their best human effort. 

**Notable exceptions appear to be Google, Apple, Nike, and Starbucks, who have loyal and creatively engaged employees.  May be good models for companies of the future, if the future of the American economy must include large corporations. 

Adventures with guns

First of all, I must make a confession.  Although I grew up in the proud state of Idaho where I learned how to kill gophers, wrangle llamas, plant potatoes, paddle a canoe, identify edible things in the woods, gut a trout, vaccinate salmon (true story), and any number of random rustic things, until this Autumn I had never shot a gun.  Never.  Not even once.

So when my coworkers at Banfield set about choosing the yearly team-building activity that would bond us together in office camaraderie, I was delighted when we decided on doing an Immersive Tactical Shoot at a place called Threat Dynamics in Tualitin, Oregon, followed by happy hour at a Western-themed bar called Bushwhackers.  …AKA shooting guns and drinking whiskey. Perfect. 

Threat Dynamics outfits you with a 9mm Colt semiautomatic handgun, but instead of using bullets or blanks, you use CO2 cartridges which release a burst of air, giving you the kick of a real bullet without the danger.  Then, you shoot at these huge screens with crazy interactive software.  This software was developed for military and law enforcement training so that people could actually practice their shooting with interactive scenarios, rather than just shooting at targets.  For example, my boss and I (ironically) had to try to talk down a disgruntled/fired employee holding their boss at gunpoint, and decide when it was necessary to take him down.  The first time around, we missed the guy and the boss died. (Yikes!  Fake blood!) But the second time around, we shot the right guy down.  (Yikes again!  Different fake blood!)  Another coworker and I stepped into the 300 degree screen (you are almost totally surrounded by 6’ X 8’ screens) to try to handle a couple of guys who were attempting to break into a car.  Unfortunately, we weren’t vigilant enough, and I got shot from behind by a third guy who snuck up on us.  Also unfortunately, when this happened I was wearing a “zap belt” that jolted me with electricity to simulate a wounding hit.   It freakin’ hurt. 

Over Thanksgiving, I was telling my family about this little adventure, and I pointed out to my gun-toting Father and Uncle that I’d still never shot a gun with bullets in it.  So like any self-respecting Idahoan family, the Saturday after Thanksgiving found us in the middle of the desert with five different kinds of guns, random crap we wanted to shoot at, and some snacks.  I was super glad that I’d gotten to shoot the CO2 cartridges before I shot bullets, because damn that shit is intense.  The kickback is much more violent, and I fully understood for the first time how muscular shooting a gun is.  My hands and arms were hurting! And it was much more of an adrenaline rush knowing that you had to really be careful so you didn’t, you know, kill someone. 

So what’s the verdict?  What did I learn from this experience?  The old saying is true:  Guns don’t kill people.  People kill people.  Shooting a gun is really hard! Generally speaking, you have to be super focused, in control, and physically determined if you are going to hit your target.  Otherwise you're gonna miss.  It’s not like you put a gun in your hand and automatically become a killing machine; I think you have to find the killing machine inside of yourself in order to pump something full of lead.  My favorite gun to shoot: My Dad’s Smith and Wesson revolver.  I felt like a was in the wild west totin’ a six-shooter, and it made me want to go back to Bushwhackers with my crazy coworkers tellin’ dirty jokes and drinkin’ whiskey under a mounted buck head with a beautiful rack. 

Thing I've learned at work. Part Two.

So the other day I posted about the Flying M in Boise, but when I started writing I actually wanted to write about a book of postcards that I found in the gift shop at the M.  I don’t remember who published/wrote them, but they were postcards of “Office Humor” that hit disturbingly close to home.  It occurred to me in that moment that this blog (at least some posts…I’ve been pretty random) is part of an entire genre of office humor used amongst people who work 8-5 in cubicles. 

As early as 1923 Elmer Rice was writing “The Adding Machine,” a play about a hapless corporate drone.  Similarly, Sophie Treadwell wrote “Machinal” in 1928.  In the late 1990s a little gem of a movie came out called "Office Space."  Umm…Can I get a big Duh for a little modern sitcom that jumped across the pond called “The Office”??  I also googled Office Humor and found such websites as officehumor.com, ishouldbeworking.com, and mycorporatehell.com.   (I didn’t link to any of them because I didn’t actually find anything super entertaining.  But then I didn’t spend a whole lot of time.)  So I guess my point is that many people have been having a hard time with office jobs since the 1920s, and there is an entire genre devoted to it.  Thankfully for me (a modern lady), the internet exists nowadays to entertain me!

On that note, I’ll share some more random things I’ve learned at work…

1.       Having painted nails makes typing more fun, for some reason. Just look at those pretty nails go!! 

2.       Add to the list of things that make data entry bearable—Podcasts! 

3.       One of my superiors advised me that, if I turn my monitor, people walking up the aisle can’t see that I’m on facebook.  Niiiice.

4.       Divorced women age 30-40 can be some of the funnest, wildest, most awesome, and simultaneously nurturing people on the planet. 

5.       Just because you have twin boys and work an 8-5 job doesn’t mean you can’t party as hard as the single divorced 30-40 year old women.

6.       Nothing perks up an office like a little holiday cheer.  My cubicle is adorably decorated with lights and tinsel, and the building is home to two proud trees and lots of wreaths and garlands. 

7.       Grandmothers make the best bosses.

The best Coffeeshop on the planet.

This Thanksgiving I took a super-quick trip to Boise.  I was in the city for about 48 hours so I had to cram as much family time/Boise in as possible.  I only saw a couple of friends, and we made sure to go to our “place”—my favorite coffeeshop on the face of this planet.  The Flying M not only makes a mean latte, but has mastered the creation of my ideal coffeeshop atmosphere.  The mismatched chairs and tables are worn with love, and one L-shaped sofa is always cozily occupied, even during the many cold Boise months that may invite a draft where the couch sits by the door. 

The best part about the Flying M is that, no matter what you want to do, and no matter how crowded the coffeeshop is, you can do it and no one will look sideways at you.  You can chat with friends for hours on end, your raucous conversation getting louder and louder as you all get more caffeinated.  You can sit quietly in a nook with your laptop or a book and wile away an afternoon.  You can bring your kids in for a delicious post-Church pastry on a Sunday.  All of these things can happen at the same time and no one will question it.

I own three Flying M t-shirts from the adorable gift shop that takes up a third of the coffeeshop, (that’s right—there’s a gift shop too!)  and I often get asked about them outside of Boise.  ((Yes, it may be a little ridiculous that I own three, but they are all totally different from one another and once you’ve slipped into a shirt that soft and cozy it’s hard to live with just one. ))  Whenever I get asked about it, I just say that it’s my favorite coffeeshop, but it really means much more to me than that.

One reason I consciously chose to leave Boise was that, being an “artistic soul” in one of the most Conservative states in this country, I didn’t feel free to express my opinions in most places.  I also went to 12 years of Catholic school, and that in its nature does not encourage thinking outside of the box, in many ways.  There is something so unapologetically genuine and beautiful and intrinsically good about Idahoans, but many Idahoans seem to think that there is only one way to live your life.  For some reason, the Flying M represents to me a little place where very different ideas can cohabitate without coming into conflict. 

Over Thanksgiving I saw one of my friends in the morning, and we were seated next to a nice old couple.  The man was a classic Idahoan with calloused hands and a bright orange trucker hat, and he joked with us jovially as we settled in to the table next to them.  We were charmed.  I saw my other friend in the evening, and a group of young gay men came in to hand out free condoms creating awareness for World AIDS Day.  We were charmed.  And both in the morning and evening every seat in the place was occupied by someone as different as their neighbor.  I don’t know any other place in Idaho that hosts a Pride night once a week, providing a safe warm place for young GLBTQ people to socialize, and that also hosts highly traditional Christian families for cookies and board games on a Sunday afternoon.   I’m not sure I know of another place in the world like that, and that special home-y feeling has welcomed me back to Boise every time I’ve returned home since I left four and half years ago.  (Note: I have a personal rule to always have a receipt from the Flying M living in my wallet.)

Women who Rock: Part Gaga

I couldn't resist. This is badass.

People who get bitten by pets

Before I get into this, may I remind you that I file worker's comp claims for the largest Pet Hospital in the country.  That is, my job is to help my company to compensate people who get hurt on the job. "Who gets hurt at a pet hospital?" you may ask.  Well...
 

Practically every little kid goes through a time when they think that being a Vet would be the coolest job ever.  Little boys and girls all across America dream of hanging out with kitties and puppies all day long, saving all of the sick pets in world.  A few of these kids actually grow up to be Vets, and some of them become Veterinary Assistants or Pet Nurses, fulfilling their childhood dreams.  While this is a thing of beauty, I see a few problems from where I’m sitting…

1. That sick cat has no idea what a doctor is and your office smells like dogs.
2. That sick rottweiler does not understand what a thermometer is and doesn’t like where you’re putting it.
3. Animals on drugs are even less in control of themselves than humans on drugs.
4. No pet understands what a vaccine is, and even humans hate needles.
5. After a couple of visits, they’re onto you. They know what this place is and what you might do to them. 

Consequently, this profession has some built-in risks.  All of those factors aggravate animals and can make even the nicest pets unable to resist the urge to retaliate.  Vet offices are stressful!  And cats and dogs have pointy teeth!

 However, pet doctors have been around for a while so they have some ways of keeping sick pets as comfortable and non-violent as possible.  Which brings up a second point—who are the people who get bitten?  When is it that an animal senses that something vet-like is up?  On that note, I thought I’d share a few illuminating stories. Please note, IA stands for Injured Associate and is corporate jargon for employee-who-was-assaulted-by-an-animal. 

1. A pitbull is in a cage in the break room, for some reason.  IA sticks her finger into the cage and makes some “dog sounds” at the dog.  That is, at the pitbull.  The finger gets bitten. Pitbull did not dig that.
2. An IA begins to approach a rottweiler with the dreaded thermometer in hand, places their free hand on the back of the dog, and gets their hand chomped to oblivion.  My thoughts: Just don’t try to sodomize a rottweiler. Not going to end well.
3. IA reports that he had a kitten walk up his left arm, resulting in a bunch of scratch wounds.  The tone of the report was that this poor guy was squirming in pain but torn because of the adorable-ness of the kitten and his delight at having a kitten on him.
4. Often, someone will get bitten twice in the same day by two different pets.  Those who are bite-able will be bitten again.  Once you have the mark on you, you're toast.
5. Almost every claim begins with “IA was restraining a pet…” I mean, would you want to be physically restrained during a mystery procedure from a strange human?  I’d probably bite a few people if it were me.