Adventures with guns

First of all, I must make a confession.  Although I grew up in the proud state of Idaho where I learned how to kill gophers, wrangle llamas, plant potatoes, paddle a canoe, identify edible things in the woods, gut a trout, vaccinate salmon (true story), and any number of random rustic things, until this Autumn I had never shot a gun.  Never.  Not even once.

So when my coworkers at Banfield set about choosing the yearly team-building activity that would bond us together in office camaraderie, I was delighted when we decided on doing an Immersive Tactical Shoot at a place called Threat Dynamics in Tualitin, Oregon, followed by happy hour at a Western-themed bar called Bushwhackers.  …AKA shooting guns and drinking whiskey. Perfect. 

Threat Dynamics outfits you with a 9mm Colt semiautomatic handgun, but instead of using bullets or blanks, you use CO2 cartridges which release a burst of air, giving you the kick of a real bullet without the danger.  Then, you shoot at these huge screens with crazy interactive software.  This software was developed for military and law enforcement training so that people could actually practice their shooting with interactive scenarios, rather than just shooting at targets.  For example, my boss and I (ironically) had to try to talk down a disgruntled/fired employee holding their boss at gunpoint, and decide when it was necessary to take him down.  The first time around, we missed the guy and the boss died. (Yikes!  Fake blood!) But the second time around, we shot the right guy down.  (Yikes again!  Different fake blood!)  Another coworker and I stepped into the 300 degree screen (you are almost totally surrounded by 6’ X 8’ screens) to try to handle a couple of guys who were attempting to break into a car.  Unfortunately, we weren’t vigilant enough, and I got shot from behind by a third guy who snuck up on us.  Also unfortunately, when this happened I was wearing a “zap belt” that jolted me with electricity to simulate a wounding hit.   It freakin’ hurt. 

Over Thanksgiving, I was telling my family about this little adventure, and I pointed out to my gun-toting Father and Uncle that I’d still never shot a gun with bullets in it.  So like any self-respecting Idahoan family, the Saturday after Thanksgiving found us in the middle of the desert with five different kinds of guns, random crap we wanted to shoot at, and some snacks.  I was super glad that I’d gotten to shoot the CO2 cartridges before I shot bullets, because damn that shit is intense.  The kickback is much more violent, and I fully understood for the first time how muscular shooting a gun is.  My hands and arms were hurting! And it was much more of an adrenaline rush knowing that you had to really be careful so you didn’t, you know, kill someone. 

So what’s the verdict?  What did I learn from this experience?  The old saying is true:  Guns don’t kill people.  People kill people.  Shooting a gun is really hard! Generally speaking, you have to be super focused, in control, and physically determined if you are going to hit your target.  Otherwise you're gonna miss.  It’s not like you put a gun in your hand and automatically become a killing machine; I think you have to find the killing machine inside of yourself in order to pump something full of lead.  My favorite gun to shoot: My Dad’s Smith and Wesson revolver.  I felt like a was in the wild west totin’ a six-shooter, and it made me want to go back to Bushwhackers with my crazy coworkers tellin’ dirty jokes and drinkin’ whiskey under a mounted buck head with a beautiful rack.